Finding the words

I feel like I should blog, since I haven’t the last two days. I was *trying* to blog daily since the start of the year based on how successful my NaBloPoMo November was back over at The PWD PK. But although I had a fantastic experience this weekend at my local JDRF retreat, and I wanted to write about my pancakes yesterday for National Pancake Day, and I could write a Woeful Wednesday about how my Dexcom receiver is giving me problems or about how I am frustrated with the sheer amount of insulin I’m taking, I can’t find the words to say. I can’t find the motivation to say it.

The thing is that personally, I’ve been struggling. And I could tell you exactly why, but with blogging, there’s this whole disclosure issue that I used to shoot to the moon but since I’ve been gaining more readership thanks to Twitter and Facebook, and since I’ve been growing up and entering the professional world, and since I’ve been working to become a voice of advocacy for people with diabetes, I think I need to throw up the disclosure flag a bit more often when it comes to my blogging.

Needless to say, losing my job and dealing with issues I’ve had for a long time, and trying to figure out who I want to be. I’m frustrated. I’m frustrated I’m still in college. I’m frustrated I didn’t figure out what I wanted to do four years ago so I could have done it all in one shot. I’m frustrated with other things. I am waiting for my life to fall together. Isn’t that what it’s supposed to do around 23? But it’s not. And I’m frustrated.

Diabetes. It’s okay. Without Dexcom, I’m reluctant to check my sugar 20 times a day like I used to. I’m just not into it. I’ve been eating like a crazy person. I need to stop! I need to exercise. It would help almost all my “problems,” physical and mental. I just. can’t. start.

But this will be the end of this post. Because I’ve already said too much. But at least now, fair reader, you know where I am and how I’m feeling. And I promise for a more Sarahndipidous blog entry tomorrow.

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2 thoughts on “Finding the words

  1. casey

    sorry you are frustrated. It is part of life… and it sucks… but you will come through it. Good things can come, because frustration can be motivating. Never want to feel that frustrated about a specific issue? You can control some things.

    You say you can’t exercise, but you can. What would fit into your routine? What would make you smile? A hula hoop makes me smile, and as long as my infusion site isnt on my abdomen, I can do that! 10 mins? thats nothing!

    You can smile! That always helps 😉

    Reply

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