It has been over 2 weeks since I last blogged.
This is incredibly odd for me, considering writing is one of my favorite hobbies, and that I have been attempting to meet the 5 days a week mark for a long time. I was considering dropping it to 2 or 3 days a week when I started working full time, but I didn’t think I’d really just quit blogging and cut my tweets down to a few a day.
It’s not really work keeping me busy at all. I mean, my tiredness factor has gone up, considering I work all day and (OH MY GOSH) sleep all night, a feat I thought for sure I was destined to never accomplish. But really, when it came to blogging about diabetes, I really didn’t feel like it. Because, let’s face it, the last month since my move, I’ve been pretty much in constant epic fail when it comes to diabetes.
There’s so much to do when you change your schedule, routine, time zone, and lifestyle when it comes to dealing with this disease. You have to check and recheck basal rates. You have to check and recheck insulin to carb ratios. You have to find a healthy way to deal with the stress of the new situation so it doesn’t negatively affect your blood sugar. And you have to figure out how to not forget to test. I had pretty much overcome my absent mindedness when it came to diabetes, but throw me in a new situation and it’s “Oh hey, it’s 4pm and I haven’t tested since I woke up this morning.” This is an annoying aspect of my personality. My spaciness does not help my diabetes management in the least.
So I’ve been trying. Attempting to basal test. I finally put my CGMS sensor back in after weeks of ignoring it. I got frustrated when I had a faulty sensor and although I updated my address with Dexcom, somehow it still wound up being sent to my parent’s house. It’s about time to order more test strips, which makes me not want to start testing with meter only until I am fully stocked because I don’t want to run out.
My general attitude on control has loosened. I guess it happens when you’re stuck at 300 every evening and around 250 in the mornings. Numbers that six weeks ago I found unacceptable now warrant a shoulder shrug or a pat on the back. A 173 fasting number would have me messing with basal rates earlier this summer. Today, I was excited to see that number after the way last night’s low caused me to stuff my face.
So for weeks, I was hitting 300 after dinner with no real reason, whether I took my Symlin injection on top of my bolus or not. Finally I started using the combo, which, apparently, with Symlin, helps combat the slow digustion that Symlin allows to happen. Now I’m still high post-dinner, but not 30o.
This week a new phenomenon of bedtime lows is showing up. Even if I eat nothing after dinner, even if I eat dinner at 4:30, which I often do, about 10 pm, you can bet I’ll be in the 60’s, sometimes 50’s. Last night I was so angry I posted this on twitter and this on facebook. I felt bad for cursing (even with asterisks) on facebook, mostly because I know my family and (older) friends from church read my status updates, but even so, I was frustrated.
Needless to say, I feel unable to take care of myself at the moment. Like whatever I do i am still struggling. I get my sky-high post-dinner numbers down and am met with bedtime lows. I feel like I can’t win.
So that’s why I haven’t been blogging. I was afraid if I sat down to write a blog, it would consist of nothing but curse words in diabetes’ general direction.But maybe blogging and twittering again will help me get out of my funk. We’ll see.
What do you do when you are suffering from diabetes burnout?