Remembering that it’s just a number.

One thing has been running though my mind the past few months:

How did I get back here again?

I’ve been feeling out of sorts for a few months now. Tired all the time, hungry all the time, thirsty all the time. Sound familiar? So when my endo appointment snuck up on me, I wasn’t expecting anything phenomenal.

I went into the appointment post-vampires telling myself that A1c is only a number, a small snapshot, a reflection at one time of my overall health and it in no way reflects on me personally and should not affect my self-worth.

But what I wasn’t expecting was an 8.4.

I knew I’d been slipping and under a lot of stress lately. Overeating, not testing enough (especially sans-dexc0m), but jumping .8% was not what I expected. It turns out that my doctor’s appointment was exactly what I thought it would be, a wake-up call.

I’m starting symlin again, which will be a process and a half since I didn’t really use it at all when I was in Utah or since I have been home. I am thinking about waiting until the end of next week, since I have travel plans, but I am also really sick of feeling gross every time I eat a few grams of carbohydrates. It really takes it out of you, eating breakfast and then feeling like going back to bed because your blood sugar is now over 200.

8.4 isn’t going to get me down. I have done it before and I know what I need to do to get my blood glucose levels into a healthy range. It might mean figuring out how to pay the ungodly amount for full price dexcom sensors, or it might mean just testing my blood sugar 10-15 times a day. I have done both of those things before. The important part is that I know how to take care of myself, I know what works best for me, and I can get back to that place.

Because I can do this.

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