Warning: Spastic, rant of a post that doesn’t much pertain to diabetes. It’s severely lacking in linkage as well as picturage, but I don’t much feel like adding them at 1am when I’m writing this. Read at your own risk, and please refrain from judgement. I promise I’ll do better to be content with what I have. Oh, and happy Friday.
Sometimes I wonder.
Just what the hell did I do to my body to make it decide to wage war on me?
I mean seriously. My body decides to attack it’s own cells. What made it think, Hey, I think it might be a good idea to go kill off all the beta cells in my pancreas and just see what happens.? No really. Body. What’s up with that?
Today was its normal roller coaster of blood sugars. I actually made significant damage to the hellish nightmare that was my room. Now the small bedroom, what was my 21 year old brother’s room (isn’t it sad that I am taking over the room of my younger sibling?) is turning into its own hellish nightmare. The purpose of this room transferring exercise was supposed to be downsizing. Not seeing how much crap I can stuff into a room and closet half the size of the one I am currently inhabiting.
But I digress.
I’m writing this at 1am, so you can understand why my thoughts are a little all over the place. (Or maybe it’s the ADD, who knows). A lot of things are bothering me today. All this health care reform mumbo jumbo. The fact that my CGMS has been a good 30 points off all day (but it’s the first day, so I’ll forgive you, Dexter). The economy really has got me down. I mean really. I have a degree but I can’t find a job. My brother works 40 hours a week at a local wing joint and he never set a foot in a college classroom. Why is it so hard for me? Why is it easier to find blue collar work these days?
OK, so frying chicken wings isn’t exactly a “trade.” But it is frustrating. I don’t want to fry chicken wings or fold clothes. Been there, done that. I have three night classes and would like free weekends to continue my bad for my wallet but good for my relationship weekend trips to Iowa, thank you very much. But I also have class in the morning. Which puts me at 20 hours a week, 1-5 each day. So there’s one problem.
The other problem is that I am in no way “skilled” (in quotation marks because while I may be skilled at some things, testing my blood sugar while driving and successfully getting ready in the morning in less than ten minutes do NOT count as marketable skills), and the only “experience” I have consists of car hopping and hanging clothes, with a small bit of cash handling thrown in there. I’m not marketable!
So what does a 20-something with a fresh degree who is going to school AGAIN to try and BECOME marketable but still is a burden on her parents and would really like some extra spending money to visit her boyfriend who lives 350 miles a way do to earn a decent living around these parts?
*sigh.* I fear I’m stuck with volunteering for now until something comes up. Which is why the week after I get back from my week long excursion to Iowa (my lovely boyfriend is kind enough to loan me cash to make it to and from his place of residence as well as feed me while I am there), I shall be taking my little hiny over to one of the local hospitals and signing myself up for volunteer work.
Being in your 20’s is supposed to be the time of your life. But with 1 in 3 recent college grads unable to find work (that’s a 33 percent unemployment rate), it seems harder than it should be to enjoy the prime of my life.
I should just spend the extra time tweeting and blogging, right?
Oh believe me, I do.