It happened again.
My sensor made it almost the full week, and it peeled off without warning.
It was set to expire tonight. If it wasn’t so pealed off, I may have tried to get ten days out of it. But they always peal off. It has something to do with my skin being too sensitive and it always itching and me slowly pealing off the edges to scratch it. Or me sweating more than normal. I’ve only had one really bad reaction to the dexcom sensors, and it happened while I was in Florida and sweating more than normal.
Usually, when you use continuous glucose monitoring, you only have to go about 2 hours without a sensor. But because I was having problems the first 24 hours of my sensor’s lives, I’ve begun letting sensors “wet” overnight after inserting them. So when the sensor ripped off while I was getting dressed this morning, I decided to wait til I was getting ready for bed to insert a new one.
Now, before I started using Dexcom, I tested my blood sugar about 10 times a day for a good four months. Sometimes 15, sometimes even 20. I wanted to know as best as I could without a CGMS what my body was doing at all times. Even my doctor said it may be overkill, but I didn’t care. I found out how bad my dawn phenomenon was this way and was able to fix it as soon as I got on my pump. It became even more important to test frequently once I started using my pump. But it was soon after that that I started using the CGMS.
For a while, on sensorless days, I would still test every two hours or so, just to make sure everything was kosher. But slowly, between insertion mishaps and failed sensors that left me weeks without them, I began to get more lax with my testing. I realized that I’m depending too much on my Dexcom. Not only that, but I’m nowhere near aggressive enough when it comes to keeping the highs down. Since I gave up on the whole weight loss thing until I find out if there’s something clinical causing my hunger or if its all in my head and treat whatever it is, mental or not, it’s been hard to quit eating. And since I have no job, it’s hard to snack on healthy, low carb foods like vegetables and fruits because they’re not in the house or when they are, they aren’t where I can get to them easily. But maybe I’m just making excuses. The fact is, I was sensorless today and I only tested my blood sugar three times. Three. That’s not even the standard five.
I’m getting burnt out, and I’m not looking forward to my endo appointment next month. I have a feeling the elusive “under 7” I was so. very. close. to. will not be showing up this time.
I no longer see endo appointments as something to ‘be good’ just before. Yeah, sure, I can get my numbers down the next four weeks and have a better A1c than if I just took it now. But does that change the fact that my averages suggest a number closer to 8 or that I am still getting tingling sensations in my arms and feet? No, it does not. It just means that my next four weeks will, yes, have to be good. But so will the weeks after that. And after that. And after that.
Because I will not let this disease beat me.