Last night, I was given a gift.
My friend most likely didn’t think anything of it. She likes for things to be used. She had something that wasn’t being used, and I was expressing a hope that I’d be able to purchase this item in the near future. Talking about my goals, acquiring this item was part of my steps. To recovery, to health, and to dreams.
Last night, she brought this gift to my house.
It was a laptop PC.
This gift was so important to me. There are lots of reason I wanted a computer. Mostly that mobile browsing when researching things like grad school had really gotten old. I missed the stability of having an actual computer. And writing on a phone or tablet had gotten nearly impossible.
Several years ago I was burnt out on writing. Blogging, in particular, had left me feeling tired and pressured. I suffered from writers block, having ideas in my head for posts but not being able to get them to come out in the form of words on a screen. I had put too much pressure on myself to churn out quality writing, writing that could solidify the place in an online community I had worked so hard to achieve.
Things happened. Personal things, things you may hear about in the near future. I was struggling with “The other D,” big time. (The first D is diabetes, the “other D” is depression).
I feel like I have been through hell and back emotionally the last few years. But I am ready to talk about it. I am ready to share about it. And I am ready to journey into the future, with you, dear reader.
This is no longer a diabetes blog, although diabetes may be mentioned.
This is going to be a place where I share with you my struggles with mental health, and my journey out of a hole.
If you chose to join me in my journey, welcome.
Writing is freeing. I am in a place where I do not care about an audience, I’m going to write anyway. These posts will be scarcely edited. But they will be from the depths of my heart and soul.
My friend V did not know what kind of a gift she was giving me when she gave me this old laptop. But she gave me the gift of freedom.
Thank you V.